Screen Time Battles - Screens & Regulation
Understanding Screens and the impact they have on Regulation
Screens are everywhere—and for many families, so are the battles that come with them.
“My child turns into a different person when I turn off the iPad.”
“She throws a full-on tantrum when screen time is over.”
“He says video games are the only thing that make him feel better.”
Sound familiar?
At Play Therapy Connection, we understand how confusing and frustrating screen-related behaviors can feel. These aren’t just “bad habits” or “tech addiction.” They’re nervous system responses—attempts to regulate internal states in a dysregulating world.
Why Do Screens Feel So Good to Kids?
Screens offer:
Predictability (same show, same game)
Control (they choose what happens)
Stimulation (bright colors, fast pace)
Escape (from stress, boredom, or overwhelm)
In SPT, we recognize that children are always trying to regulate their internal experience—to feel safe, soothed, or in control. Screens often meet those needs... until the device turns off.
What’s Really Happening When Screens Go Off?
If your child gets explosive or despondent after screen time, it might not be “just disobedience.” It may be their nervous system crashing from a stimulated state back into the real world, which suddenly feels boring, chaotic, or emotionally raw.
This might look like:
Meltdowns or yelling
Refusal to do anything else
Shutting down or withdrawing
Blaming others (“You’re so mean for taking it away!”)
Supporting Regulation Around Screen Time
We’re not anti-tech. We’re pro-connection. Here are ways to help children regulate before, during, and after screen time:
Set clear, consistent boundaries in advance: “You can play for 20 minutes, and then we’re putting it away for the day.”
Help with transitions: Use visual timers, countdowns, or a regulation activity before and after (like jumping jacks, coloring, or a snuggle).
Reflect their experience: “It’s really hard to stop when you’re having fun. I get that.”
Model your own tech use and recovery: “I notice I get cranky when I’ve been on my phone too long too.”
Remember, regulation isn’t about never using screens—it’s about helping your child build awareness, flexibility, and connection.
When to Seek Help
If you notice screen time consistently causing dysregulation, disconnection, or conflict in your home, we’re here to support your family. Helping kids move from screen-dependence to self-regulation takes patience, attunement, and sometimes, extra support.
Reach out to us at info@playtherapyconnection.com or fill out the contact form to connect with one of our Synergetic Play Therapists.